All the Sweeter by Jean Minton

Author:Jean Minton
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: She Writes Press
Published: 2019-01-15T00:00:00+00:00

Advice

Learn about reactive attachment disorder. That is the biggest piece of advice that I could give anyone looking to the foster care system to adopt. She was diagnosed a long time ago with that and ADHD and PTSD, among other things. Learn techniques and tools, learn what you should expect, so that you can be prepared to deal with it, and if the match isn’t right, don’t do it. Don’t do it.

I know it sounds horrible, but don’t be afraid to put the kid back in the system. At the end of the day, I don’t think it’s the best thing. There are a lot of times where I feel like I have made Raquel’s life worse, not better. Although she’s got the house, she’s got the shoes, she’s got all these opportunities, emotionally, she’s not happy. And emotionally, we’re not happy. So, was it worth it? I’m not sure.

I’ve tried not to feel like this. It’s because the relationship has been so difficult, because of this reactive attachment stuff, I’ve never been able to bond with her. I didn’t know how to deal with it, so I just got frustrated.

You know, we’re very similar personalities. She’s stubborn, which is great; she needs to be a strong woman. The problem is, she doesn’t quite know how to do it in a way that is constructive, not destructive. I think I’m part of the problem.

In the beginning, had I had a choice, I would have learned about reactive attachment disorder and hopefully prepared myself differently, and maybe I would have felt differently about Raquel had that been the case.

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